Halo On Fire
by Andromeda2050
Summary: A glimpse into the life of Narcissa Black between school and adulthood.
1. Black Beauties

Potions class. It was always so dull. I never saw myself having any sort of future with it. Why did I need to study it if I would never utilize the elements of brewing drafts?

It was ridiculous.

Being at age fifteen, I knew well that I had to start thinking about what my future would have to look like. Brewing potions was not my cup of tea, especially when I frequently witnessed my classmates getting burn scars, charred noses, frizzed hair...

No. Absolutely not.

At the table behind me, I could hear Ellouise Greengrass giggling about something or other, and it was all I could do to not cringe at the sound of her obnoxious laughter. Louise might have been a fifth-year like myself, but she acted as if she was ten years old. I couldn't determine the source of her fit of humor, but nor did I have the desire to find out. I didn't exactly feel obligated to butt in - thankfully, Professor Slughorn was already on top of it.

"Miss Greengrass," he said, having steered away from his lecture about Veritaserum and how it got its name. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

Instantly, the blonde Slytherin stopped her giggling, and it was all I could do not to grin. It was about time she got called out on her snarky, little attitude. One would think I might have been friends with Ellouise - we were both Slytherins, after all, weren't we? However, I found plenty of satisfaction not being the target of her cackling. When the only thing the girl could ever find to talk about was herself, I would have preferred to use mandrakes as earmuffs.

"No, sir. Sorry."

"Are you sure?" Slughorn insisted, raising an eyebrow. Now, a couple of other fifth-years were partaking in little laughs. Even I couldn't help myself. "If I wanted to push the subject, you know I could." Between his thumb and index finger, the professor wiggled the tiny vial in front of his face, as if lightly threatening her with it. At this, Greengrass said nothing. I couldn't wait to tell Bellatrix about this. She always said the girl would one day get what was coming to her for being such a self-centered brat.

And yet, she had more friends than I did.

Nothing wrong with that. The only company I really needed was that of my sisters, Bellatrix and Andromeda. Soon, I would be able to share with them the comedy that I got to witness today - the most fun I had in Slughorn's class for a while now. The homework assignment was given shortly after, and I scribbled down the pages that each student in the room was expected to read.

I packed everything as speedily as I could, dreading being held up any longer than I needed to. Lunch period was coming up, and I knew my stomach was about ready to ache from its emptiness. I wanted a cold pasta. That was my craving.

I threw my heavy bag over my shoulder as I bolted for the door, though I couldn't help but notice Slughorn had insisted for his trouble student to stay behind. I watched in amusement as Ellouise was being lectured for her disruption, all while my feet still moved for the exit of the dungeon. Then, my body slammed into something - or rather, someone.

I stumbled back, ready to holler at whoever it was that ran into me, but as I saw the familiar face that only looked back in amusement at me, I bit back my sour words before they erupted.

"Oh, sorry, Lucius. I wasn't paying attention."

Lucius Malfoy was a year above me, but he was the sort of young man that drew the attention of every girl he passed by. It didn't matter how old or young they were. Their eyes went a-flutter, and even in a silent room, one could hear the sighs of affection and amazement. He was attractive, certainly, and he held himself as an aristocratic Malfoy should. I just liked his hair.

"Narcissa. It's good to see you, too." He simply grinned, and he was passing into the room without another word. It seemed he wanted to talk to the Potions Master, but he waited patiently from a distance while Slughorn finished addressing Miss Greengrass. I sneaked out of the dungeon and down the hall, letting out a small huff. I wasn't usually this clumsy. Why did I have to bump into Malfoy, of all people? Couldn't it have been someone I could have easily snapped at without any shame?

I skipped up the stony steps that would take me into the Entrance Hall, then hurried across into the Great Hall. There were a few people here already - primarily a small handful of students here and there. I could see Emma Vanity trying to flirt with Rodolphus, who seemed to hold very little interest in the girl, even though she was exceptionally pretty. However, I already knew that Rodolphus would soon be marrying my oldest sister. Bellatrix was very lucky to wed into such a family as Lestrange. They were not only wealthy, but also the ideal image of pure-blood - absolutely untainted.

Placing myself in a lonely spot at the Slytherin table, I gladly helped myself to a plate of tortellini and tomatoes. I loved food, even if my lithe figure didn't suggest it. I hoped I never ended up to look like that Gryffindor pig, Bertha Jorkins. Mother had always informed me and my sisters that we had to be careful with our eating habits, lest our metabolisms couldn't keep up anymore. I desperately hoped the day would never come where I had to starve myself just to keep from going a size up!

"Cissy, there you are," came Bellatrix's voice from my left. She appeared to have just arrived, as she certainly wasn't here before. "Slow down on that food, or you'll choke."

My sister could always be a bit of a bossy individual, but I always knew she tried to look out for my best interest, regardless. While she did like to take charge, she still cared for me and Andromeda. It wasn't always easy hearing her tell me what to do, though. I was able to make most decisions on my own, after all.

"I'm starving, Bella. I didn't eat breakfast, mind you."

"And why not?" Bellatrix insisted, plopped herself beside me.

"Well..." I didn't exactly want to admit I had slept in and nearly missed Herbology. "I was up all night finishing that essay for History of Magic." It was due today. I knew I had a bad habit of procrastinating when it came to certain assignments (especially tedious ones like long papers), but I rarely had a problem with getting them turned in on time. Thanks to Regina, one of my fellow housemates, I managed to finish the assigned with at least some decency.

History was not exactly my forte, after all.

"Did you see Vanity all over Rodolphus?" I asked her, concerned about my sister feeling threatened by the fellow Slytherin.

"What of it?" Bellatrix asked carelessly, snatching up a piece of bread from the bowl in front of her before she would perch back down again.

"You don't care?" I asked, relatively confused.

"Just because mother says I have to marry him, doesn't mean goblin gunk. He can do what he wants. In the meantime, so can I."

"Don't you love him?" I inquired, though admittedly, I never really saw Bellatrix and Rodolphus spend much time together. I understood their marriage had been arranged between our parents and his to keep to the tradition of marrying for the sake of blood purity. I just anticipated there would be more of an attempt to make it work out.

I saw her smile. "No. My heart belongs to no man."

She was so independent - so strong. Everyday, I saw myself want to be just like Bellatrix. She was skilled in everything she did, and on top of that, relied on no one but herself. I found I was smiling, too. As long as Bella was happy, so was I.

"So, Greengrass finally got it from Slughorn today."

"Oh?" Now, Bellatrix seemed interested, and I was more than happy to tell her what had happened in Potions. I was pretty sure that even amidst my embarrassment of running into Malfoy, I had heard the professor assign her a page to write on the chapter they were all required to look over. For someone who always seemed to get her way, today had been less than perfect for Greengrass. "Good," my sister concluded, though I watched her smug grin fade as she looked behind me towards the door. "Why is she talking to _him_?"

At first, I wasn't sure if perhaps my sister finally decided to show envy towards Emma Vanity, but as I turned my head to look towards the doors, I saw I was entirely off. Andromeda seemed to be in deep conversation with a boy, both of them side-by-side as they entered the Great Hall. I never noticed the young man in Gryffindor robes and dark hair before, and so my guess was as good as Bella's.

"Who is he?" I asked, forgetting I was still holding my pasta-loaded fork.

"Tonks. I think he's a couple of years older than her, but he's most definitely muggle-born."

My blood boiled at the thought of my second sister associating herself with mudbloods. Soon, we watched as they went their separate ways, and the cheery smile on Andromeda's face made my stomach turn all the more. "Who was that, Andy?" Though I knew the answer to my own question through Bellatrix, I was curious as to how she might answer.

"Don't be silly, Narcissa. Tonks is doing some homework for me, that's all." Andromeda casually sat down in front of Bellatrix, who had yet to say anything. She set up a plate of food, but she wasn't oblivious to the firm looks from her siblings. "What? I'm serious!"

"I sure hope so," Bellatrix's tone sounded almost threatening. "Are we all falling behind on our assignments now?"

"Bella, don't be like that," I pleaded, and I set down my fork. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling very hungry anymore. "Besides, summer is almost here. All I have to worry about are the O.W.L.s."

Although I wasn't feeling very confident about my exam for History of Magic.

"Oh, don't remind me," Andromeda complained. "I've been studying so much, I think I forgot everything." I didn't doubt it. I would see Andromeda curled up in the common room almost every night with her nose buried in a book - primarily Defense Against The Dark Arts. I used to think she was just a bookworm, but come to find out, she really just wanted to do well in school to have a promising career - as did a lot of students. Quietly, I finished up my plate of tortellini - or at least, what I could of it. Test anxiety was starting to sneak up on me, though the second-to-last week of school wasn't even here yet.

After lunch was History of Magic, which meant I could finally unload the six-page essay I had been struggling with these past, few days. I actually had finished it last week, to be fair, but when a couple of first-years had been chasing each other through the common room, they spilled ink all over the parchment. _Tergeo_ didn't work, either. It only made _all_ of the ink on the paper disappear, not just what was freshly splashed. I couldn't describe how infuriated I was that night. I gave up on it, and then, I eventually forgot about it until the night before last.

The end of the day couldn't come soon enough, though towards the closure of dinner, I had recalled that today was Friday, which meant I had one more class. I had Astronomy at midnight with Professor Vela, and usually, I would try to sneak in a nap before then. Truth was, Astronomy was probably the only class I really enjoyed. I just despised the fact that it had to be so inconveniently scheduled at nighttime.

Yet, how else could one stargaze?


	2. Snakes In The Water

"Tonight," Professor Vela cooed, her voice resembling a mellow violin, "we will observe Lyra." There was a pause, and one or two of the fifth-years shifted in place, as if they knew that a related question would be popped any second. "Can anyone tell me what Lyra is, exactly?"

I slowly rose my hand, though not any higher than the top of my head. My movement might have come as a surprise to some. I never participated in these sort of things, but in Vela's class, I somehow felt a bit more at home. My mother had told me a lot of stories of constellations in the past, and some of them were even good as bedtime stories for when I was very little. From what I had heard before, she had told similar stories to Andromeda and Bellatrix, as well.

"Yes, Narcissa. Go ahead."

"It's the harp of Orpheus, right?" I clarified, lowering my hand to my side. My palm now felt a bit clammy.

"Yes, very good. See, Orpheus was a skilled musician with his instrument. He had a beautiful wife, and her name was Eurydice. Unfortunately, after wedded, she was bitten by a deadly snake. I'm sure we can all guess where that sends her."

"Hades," murmured a couple of the students out of a total of six.

"Correct. Naturally, Orpheus comes to the underworld to take her back, and by playing on his harp, softens the god of the underworld just enough for him to let her go." Vela pulled open the drapes to several massive windows of the tower. "However, there is always a catch. He tells Orpheus that he can take her, but he cannot look back until they have completely reached the surface. They're almost there when he turns to look back at his beloved Eurydice...and then, she is taken away from him forever."

"That's sad," murmured a female, a Hufflepuff that I had learned was named Emilie Simmons. She was a pure-blood, and so relatively tolerable, but I personally never talked to her. I never really talked to anyone in this room that wasn't Professor Vela, as a matter of fact.

"Indeed, Miss Simmons, it is. Unfortunately, that was the deal that was made, and Orpheus failed to see it through. So, Apollo sent the lyre into the sky." With the students' telescopes all set up - two at each window - she instructed the students to seek out three constellations. They would each rotate to find a constellation at each, and Lyra was hanging past the second window I had gazed through. It hadn't taken long. I knew how to find Draco with ease - and from there, Lyra was just a little to the left. The skies were crystal-clear. Not a single cloud in the sky. Even the pale glow of the moon flooded the space of the Astronomy Tower, leaving a surreal light to give it life.

"Narcissa, in this last window, can you locate Orion?"

That wasn't hard. Finding the three stars of Orion's belt was the easiest way to find him. "I found the belt," I said after a few moments of adjusting the telescope from left to right. "There he is."

"Very good. Now, do you know the what the brightest star in that constellation is?"

Now, I was clueless, pulling away from the stargazing equipment with an uncertain look. We hadn't been taught this, had we? I hated not being able to answer a question and looking stupid in front of the other students. "No, professor."

At this, she simply smiled. "Why, I believe your sister is named after it."

Oh!From there, I was able to narrow it down. It definitely wasn't Andromeda; she was named after a constellation. "Bellatrix?" I answered hopefully. In all honesty, I had never been enlightened as to where my oldest sister got her name from. In response, Vela eagerly nodded, and her bright, red hair bounced its curls by the sides of her face.

"That's it, Miss Black. Outstanding! Ten points to Slytherin for such great participation."

Right now, I felt like a queen, even if I might have been the only Slytherin in the tower to bask in the house's minor victory. Towards the end of the period, the teacher reminded us with a warning that the exams would be next Friday night, and we wouldn't see her until then. A lot of studying would have to be done, but she did inform us that we had reviewed all the questions in this year's lessons, and that none of it was new material. I felt confident about it, for the most part, but my concerns rested with all the other classes. Monday's exam was for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

You'll just have to review all your old assignments over the weekend,I told myself. Hopefully, everything I needed to know would be in all those previous quizzes and notes.

Upon returning to the common room, it was hard to see where I was going as I came in, that I nearly stumbled on a chair on the way in.

"There's a chair there," came Bellatrix's voice from the middle of the room, and it startled the hell out of me that I bumped into the chair a second time.

"Damnit, Bella, don'tdothat!" I strained my eyes to see where she was, and I could barely spot her laying on the couch, lazily stretched out as if she had been asleep, though her voice suggested she was wide awake. "You scared me."

"You're so jumpy, Cissy. Relax. Have a seat."

I carefully did so, placing myself in a nearby, green armchair. For a moment, it was quiet, and I felt the need to kill the silence with some small talk. "I know where your name comes from now."

"Oh, do you?" she answered, though the tone of her voice sounded a little less than intrigued.

"It's the brightest star in Orion." I set my Astronomy book down on my lap, brushing my fingers absently on the smooth binding. "We have an uncle named Orion. I wonder why I wasn't named after any stars or constellations."

Silence followed, as if she couldn't answer my pondering. The more I thought on it, the more I felt like the oddball of the three sisters. I was the youngest. I didn't have dark hair like they did (blonde hair was something I had achieved from my mother, as it certainly was not a Black trait). Unlike Bellatrix, who was already talking about how she wanted to help the Dark Lord create a new world order run by pure-bloods, I was never very fond of war and violence. Yes, I would have liked nothing more than to see pure-bloods in charge of all things in the Wizarding World, but I would never wish death on anyone less than them. Not even Headmaster Dumbledore...even if he did support muggle-borns and was, in fact, a half-blood, himself.

"The day after I graduate, I will be getting the Dark Mark," she said, having completely avoided my subject. This news hit me like a troll with a bludgeon. Of course, I already had known that Bellatrix wanted to join the Death Eaters. It had been a subtle subject between us and the families that would join due to her fast-coming marriage. Rodolphus had no doubt urged her to join, and while I knew it was what my sister wanted, I hated thinking about what kind of danger she might be in while she pursued her dreams. Not to mention, it was a rather wicked, scary situation. "Cissy, did you hear me?" Bellatrix's voice shot through the dark room like an arrow. I stirred a bit and eventually nodded.

"I heard you."

Soon, I heard her shuffle towards me, and she crouched down in front of me. I felt her cool hands take my own, and it felt like I was already saying goodbye to my sister forever. "When you leave here for good, Cissy, I want you to join me. Help me and the Dark Lord take this world by storm."

I didn't say anything. I never really considered being a Death Eater - it wasn't even something the Black family did typically did. Mother and father never joined the Death Eater ranks. I could support my sister's decision, but I couldn't see myself becoming a part of an army that would forcefully make the Wizarding World bend - and to what end would they see their supremacy?

I closed my eyes, and for a moment, felt the need to fight back tears. She kissed the top of my head before she released my hands and walked away. Even after she left the room, I remained sitting in the chair, trying to take in what Bellatrix had just told me. She had heard some horror stories about the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort. While they had recently made their intentions clear, they were already notorious for mercilessly using Dark Arts in hopes to achieve power over all muggles and muggle-borns. It was also hinted at being made political, using the Ministry for their purposes, though I knew little about that.

All I did know was that Bellatrix was getting herself into some heavy stuff, and it terrified me that I might never see my beloved sister again.

The room was so dark. Open or closed, my eyes couldn't tell the difference. My thoughts had never been this loud and anxious, at least not since the first day I walked into Hogwarts. After a long while, the blackness lulled me to sleep. It wasn't until the first bustle of students trampling down the stairs that I was stirred back into consciousness. I looked down. My Astronomy book was still sitting on my thighs. The weekend was officially here, and I heard some gossip among my housemates that they would be taking a trip to Hogsmeade.

I didn't want to disappoint with my grades on the O.W.L.s, so I had no intention of leaving the school premises. Even Andromeda was among the group that planned on escaping for a day, and I saw the look she gave me as lagged behind her friends, slowing down by the chair I was slouched in.

"Are you going to come, Narcissa?" she asked me. I shook my head, though my thoughts weren't fully on studies, either. I was still trying to wrap my head around Bellatrix's words from before. I wondered if she had told Andy about her decision to join the Death Eaters, and just how soon her conversion would be.

"I'll be alright. You have fun."

Andromeda's expression seemed concerned, but she offered a hopeful smile. "I bet you'll do great on the exams. Take care!" She skipped off to reunite with the rest of the small group, all of them dressed in comfortable, spring clothes. The weather was supposed to be beautiful today. Realizing that made me realize I would ache about not joining them. Perhaps it was what I needed to escape the anxiety I was feeling right now.

Ultimately, it wasn't a very wise decision to ditch my studies. I knew this.

I ascended to the girls' dormitory to gather the rest of books. After I gave a few strokes on the head of Alice, my Ragdoll (she only purred in response, but made no other reaction), I then returned to the common room to get comfortable on the couch. In front of me, I sprawled out the books and all my notes from my various classes, setting them each in a pile per subject. I began getting engaged with Defense Against the Dark Arts first. I considered it to be the second-hardest, next to History of Magic, but that was only because our professor never stuck around for any more than a year. I never understood why, but the lack of consistency and the inability to get comfortable with the professor did make things difficult.

Hell, it was like the position wascursedor something.

A couple of hours passed, and the growling of my stomach drew my attention away from an old homework assignment on boggarts. At the very bottom of the page, each student was asked to explain why their boggarts appeared as it did that period, but it was optional, in case it may have been a sensitive subject to some. I saw I had left mine blank. I didn't exactly want to write down the reason as to why my boggart was what I imagined to be an ugly, elderly version of myself.

"Not going to Hogsmeade today?" stirred a voice behind me. I looked around the back of the couch to see Lucius had just come down the stairs from the dormitories chamber. He was dressed in a fine suit, his long hair tied back. This was really the first time I saw him wear his hair like that. It was actually a very nice look on him.

Then, I remembered he asked me a question.

"I have more important things to do," I said simply. Lucius came closer behind the sofa to see what I was doing.

"I see." He seemed to notice I was rubbing my head in frustration. There was an ache behind my eye threatening to throb. "Would you like to take a break and grab some lunch?"

I looked up in slight surprise at him. Lucius and I weren't exactly friends, but we were friendly acquaintences, at least. After all, he did come from an outstanding bloodline of witches and wizards. I guess I always felt a bit intimidated by him only because his family was so wealthy and powerful.

I accepted the offer, leaving my books displayed as they were for the time being. I followed Lucius out of the dungeons and into the Great Hall, which was a fair more scarce than was usual. A lot of people had taken off to the village - others were likely enjoying the fresh air outside of the castle with picnics and walks.

"They're not as awful as you might think," Lucius was saying as we took our seats at Slytherin's table. "You'll do fine. Slughorn has spoken fondly of you in Potions."

"What? Really?" I perked, though I couldn't help but wonder why Lucius and Slughorn would ever hold a discussion about her.

"He said he would like to ask you to join The Slug Club next year. I was asked not to tell you anything, but not many students obtain such a privilege. You could say... I'm pleased to see he's interested."

"What exactly does one do in Slug Club?" I murmured. Of course, I knew it consisted of the professor's most liked students, but what was the purpose of holding a club? It just seemed like a strange gathering to me.

"He mostly hosts dinner parties," he said. "At the end of the year, there is a dance. Each of us are to bring someone."

There was a pause, and for a moment, my heart skipped. I never had time to really gather a liking for Lucius Malfoy, but this was...really unexpected.

"I asked Ellouise Greengrass."

I don't know why I was disappointed. I turned to my plate, which I had yet to put food on. "Oh."

"...But she's going on a vacation, so she won't even be here."

I looked back at him. He was grinning now, as if he could see right through my emotions.

Once I found words to speak, I gave him a smug look. Usually, this didn't have to be feigned, but for some reason, this boy did make me a little nervous. "Are you trying to tell me something, Lucius?"

"No. Not at all." His smirk was still stuck to his face, and as he picked up his goblet of juice, his crystal eyes never left me.

"I think you are," I persisted. I was hoping.

"Fine, Narcissa Black, you've caught me." He set down the cup and leaned in to my ear. "So, will you?" I felt myself shiver with anticipation.

"Alright then," I approved. "If I must." Of course, I jested. He knew too well I felt far from burdened to be his date.


	3. The Path To Destruction

The next day consisted of a bit more studying. I spent most of the day on the couch in the common room, looking over the other half of the papers that I hadn't reached the day before.

I focused on Defense Against the Dark Arts primarily, wanting to keep it fresh in my mind for tomorrow's exam. I had been in the middle of reading through an old essay on vampires when I started erupting into a fit of giggles. At the end of the couch, Alice was nibbling on my green sock, though it wasn't nearly vicious enough to inflict pain. She simply told me she wanted attention - or food. Either way, I had been neglecting her today, and I was the one at fault.

"I'm sorry, honey. Let's get you fed."

We both headed up to the dormitory, where I kept a supply of canned, cat food in my luggage. After using a swift, cleaning spell to renew her bowl, I dumped the smelly slop into the small basin. She seemed perfectly content now, though my nostrils took in the stinkiest scent of the most expensive, kitty gourmet.

"That definitely does not smell like fish," I muttered to her, but she was already feasting away on her late lunch.

I made my way down the steps, and before I could return to my studies, I spotted a dark-haired figure by the common room portrait.

"Cissy," Bellatrix spoke, "let's get out for a day, just the two of us."

Unsure of where this came from, I gave her a questioning look. "Where are we going?"

"You want a refresher course on Defense Against the Dark Arts, I'll give it to you. I promise, it will be fun."

I had to get myself dressed still, but my sister was happy to wait for a few. I needed to get away from the castle for a few hours. I was beginning to feel stuffy in this room.

I speedily changed into a black, lacy top and a pair of dress pants. Once I kicked on my flats, I was hurrying back down the steps once more to meet up with Bellatrix. She waited for me outside of the common room, twirling her wand through her long fingers. She lifted herself from the dungeon wall once she saw me, and we were heading out of the castle.

We would Apparate to Diagon Alley once we were far enough from Hogwarts. I wasn't sure what Bellatrix had in mind to show me, but I went along with it.

"I'm starved," she said, sounding awfully chipper. "How about you?"

"Sure. I could eat," I answered with a smile. Despite the conversation we had the other morning, being able to see her put me in a good mood. In the back of my mind, the grimmer topic was still present, but it didn't distract me from spending quality time with my sister.

After all, what if this was the last time?

I followed her to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, and the both of us ordered a raspberry and chocolate ice cream sundae. While ice cream was pretty decent at the school, nothing - absolutely _nothing_ \- compared to the perfection that was Fortescue's. It was the richest and sweetest handmade ice cream in the Wizarding World.

"I heard someone has a date to the Slug Club End-of-the-Year Party," Bella said as she downed a large spoonful of chocolate ice cream. I smiled faintly. The reminder left the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Lucius was heavily admired, not just among the Slytherin girls, but a lot of the girls in other houses, too. "You must feel honored that he asked you, of all people."

"I do," I replied, absently running the top of the plastic spoon over the chocolate syrup that coated my dessert. "It's just strange. We never really talked much before."

"Now is a good time to start," Bellatrix said, and I was beginning to wonder if perhaps she was trying to hook me up with him for more than just a dance. Is that where this was headed? Or did Lucius just want to flaunt me on his arm for that one night?

Either way, I wasn't about to complain. It gave me an excuse to wear that nice, red dress mother had bought for me on my last birthday - one that I had yet to find an occasion for until now.

"Are you going?" I asked my sister, but she simply snickered at me. Suddenly, I felt my question might have been a little ridiculous.

"I have better things to do than go to parties," she replied humorously. I thought I recalled that Rodolphus had been in the Slug Club, too. Of all people, I would have expected him to ask Bellatrix to be his partner. After all, they would soon be partners for life. Then, she continued as if she had read my mind. "I already insisted he find someone else to take, but he decided he wouldn't go at all, in that case."

"There's no harm in having a little fun, is there?" I frowned.

Then, there was a small light in my sister's dark eyes. She wasn't looking at me, however. Her gaze seemed to cast over my shoulder. "You want some fun?" she said, and the menace in her voice concerned me. "We can have some fun." I turned to look at whatever it was that caught her attention. It was a man and a woman, neither of which I recognized. "That's Loretta and Cadmus Moreau," I heard her say. "They're newlyweds. Isn't that just precious?"

I knew that whatever Bellatrix was thinking, she was probably up to no good.

"And Mr. Moreau is is the Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic, and to top it all off...he's a dirty half-blood."

"Bella...?" I murmured reluctantly, but it seemed the whimper had fallen on deaf ears, as she was stalking behind the couple like a hungry predator. I followed at a distance, hesitant to witness whatever kind of trickery my sibling was up to.

We were moving into Knockturn Alley; I had never been there before, myself. At this rate, it wouldn't have surprised me if Bellatrix had made a few trips here, what with the company she kept nowadays.

"...the only place where the Floo Network is accessible," I heard the man say to his wife. "Don't worry. It'll be quick."

"Sweetheart," came Loretta's reply, "this place gives me the creeps."

"Oh, sweetheart," chimed in Bellatrix, who was clearly mocking them. "I believe you two might have made a wrong turn."

By now, I realized we were in a deserted part of the alley, and the fact that Bellatrix practically had the couple cornered with no other witness but her youngest sister was all the more unsettling. I kept behind the brick building next to me to stay hidden, not wanting to get involved with Bella's transgression.

"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I think we have. We'll just be..."

"No! You're not going anywhere." Then, I heard Bellatrix murmur - something about proving herself...

Merlin, no... She was going to do something horrible, wasn't she?

 _"Avada Kedavra!"_

There was a deafening silence, and for a moment, my legs felt boneless beneath me. Soon, it was followed by a whispered sob that almost seemed to tear the world apart. I put my hands over my mouth in shock, and as I peered around the corner, I knew I would regret to see what Bellatrix had done.

"You dirty half-bloods belong nowhere else but right here, rotting under my boot," Bellatrix hissed at the crying widow. Beside her laid the stiff body of Cadmus Moreau. It was terrifying. I thought I knew my sister, but in the end, she was a complete stranger to me... She was a criminal.

A monster.

I couldn't say a word to her, and I couldn't even look at her anymore, even with her back turned to me. I hurried back out into Diagon Alley, wiping the tears from my face as I tried to get as far away from the crime scene as possible. I was willing to bet she would kill poor Loretta, too. How she would dispose of the evidence, I didn't know - nor did I want to.

I couldn't Apparate - I hadn't learned how to, and so determining how to get back to Hogwarts was unclear to me, at first. I bolted past the table we had been sitting at earlier (the two bowls of ice cream still sat there, half melted), desperate to find a way back.

I didn't want to tell anyone. How could I? She was still my sister, wasn't she?

Finally, it hit me. I could use the Floo Network to get to Hogsmeade. I would at least be able to return to Hogwarts from there. I went inside the closest store I knew to possess a fireplace, Flourish & Blotts.

"Sir, may I use your fireplace?" I asked the man behind the counter through heavy breaths, though hiding my anguish hadn't been an easy task.

"I'm sorry, young miss. The Network has been shut down throughout all of Diagon Alley. The only one that works is in the barber shop in Knockturn Alley." He then gave me a cautious look, as if warning me. "I wouldn't go in there by myself, if I were you. You'd best stay with your mother and father."

Of course. How could I have not remembered? Mentally kicking myself for being so foolishly forgetful, I looked back towards the direction in which Knockturn Alley's sign was displayed. If I went back in there, I would have to face Bellatrix. Could I possibly avoid her?

I had to pull myself together. Mother always told me to be strong.

But I had never witnessed a murder before... It was just so hard...

I gripped my wand, and it was to the point that I could feel my nails digging into my palm. I took in a deep breath and made my way back out, moving slowly towards the side alley once again. I stayed close to the walls, listening out for any sounds that might indicate my sister's whereabouts. At first, among the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley, this wasn't easy, but the further in I went, the more I was able to focus on the eerie silence. I stayed clear from the area where I had last seen Bellatrix and her victims, as I swore I could hear her cackling through numerous castings of the Torture Curse.

Finding another route to take me deeper into the alley, I finally came across the mentioned shop, though it appeared that no one was at the counter as I walked in. I stayed quiet as I located the fireplace on the right side of the dark room, and it was then that I could hear my name being called.

"Cissy!" Bellatrix was sing-songing somewhere outside. "Where are you?"

I only took a couple of moments to find where the bowl of Floo Powder was, but before I could reach down to pick it up...

"Oi, do you have an appointment?"

I turned around with a gasp and a jump, and the creepy woman that was peering at me from the side door was giving me a rather skeptical look.

"No, I'm sorry... I hoped I might be able to use your fireplace."

"You might... with a price."

I always kept a stash of money with me when going out, and even now was no different. Of course, leave it to an old hag in Knockturn Alley to demand money for something so simple.

I reached into my pocket, swiftly yanking out green, velvet pouch as I made my way over to the witch. She hadn't named a price, so I handed her a couple of galleons. Thankfully, she seemed assuaged as she gave me a wordless nod.

"Thank you, ma'am," I murmured humbly as hurried back to the fireplace. I stepped inside, and again, I could hear Bellatrix calling for me through the alley. I took a handful of the powder and thought of the first shop in Hogsmeade that came to mind.

"Honeydukes!"

Only for a moment, emerald flames surrounded me, and there was only a brief blast of heat before dozens of fireplaces seemed to flash before my eyes. I couldn't recognize any of their settings, as they all seemed to be a blur. Finally, I staggered out into Honeydukes, coughing as the ash filled my lungs. To my immense relief, a glass of water was handed to me in a matter of moments. I drank it down, not even noticing who was giving it to me until I recovered.

"Andy...thanks..." I exhaled. I wasn't about to tell Andromeda what I had encountered back in Knockturn Alley, though her brown eyes did seem to ask a lot of questions.

Through my panic and disbelief, I didn't have time to really ask her why she was here for a second day in a row.

"Are you alright?" she asked me. I didn't want to tell the truth, but as the same time, I knew that doing so would surely ruin the closeness I had with Bellatrix. I loved her more than anything. What I had seen...one could say I felt betrayed, in a way.

I simply nodded, wiping the wetness from my eyes as I faked a smile. "The ash got in my lungs, that's all."

Whether she took my word for it or not, I couldn't say. She had tried to ask where it was I traveled from, and though I told her Diagon Alley, she appeared to want to ask even more questions - like how I even got there in the first place. Surprisingly, Andromeda no longer pushed the subject. All I wanted was to be alone and hide away for the remainder of the day.

Hogwarts was within walking distance from the village, but it seemed like the longest walk I had ever taken in my life. I tried to avoid every student I could on the way through the castle grounds. As the sun was beginning to set now, this wasn't so hard. Students were all expected to be on the premises very soon, but they would probably be looking to enjoy dinner.

I preferred to hide away in my dormitory, on the other hand. Right now, there was no way I could bear being in the same room as Bellatrix - or as anyone else, at that.


	4. Princess Cissy For A Night

I couldn't ever say whether or not I actually slept that night. I recall crying some more, though I kept silent so my five, other roommates wouldn't be bothered. Thankfully, neither of my sisters stayed in the same dormitory as me. This was partially because they weren't even in the same year as me, though they did have access to come in, if they so wished it. Apparently, neither of them took the opportunity, because I never saw either of them the rest of the night.

When the sun was up, I didn't want to follow suit. I wanted to hide in there forever and call out sick. However, when Sascha Tamsyn, a seventh-year with long, brown hair, seemed to notice I was acting off, she offered me a Draught of Peace to help me through the week. We never held a full conversation, so why she helped me was beyond comprehension, but I couldn't have thanked her enough. It did just what she told me it would, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mirror in my dormitory, tugging at the bright, red material of my skirt. Colors were more vibrant. Sometimes, I even saw colors that I knew weren't there. It was a side effect of the potion, but it didn't really matter. I was still trying to get over the fact that I had managed to pass all of my courses. Divination and History of Magic were the two exams that I had barely passed with Acceptable grades. My Outstanding grades I achieved were in Astronomy, and to my surprise, in Potions.

I should have been able to shove all these invading thoughts from my head, but now, the potion was wearing off, leaving me to feel anxious just before a dinner party. I straightened my posture, zipping up the dress in the back. I slipped my shoes into a pair of black heels, which helped to lift my short body from the ground a bit more. Even the transparent train of my skirt managed to just barely touch the ground now, leaving me to feel a bit more confident that I wouldn't stumble on it. The front of the dress stopped just over my knees, and I found myself realizing something I never did before.

My knees were really wrinkly.

I frowned a bit, bending them so that the lines would vanish, then I locked them again, and they mysteriously returned.

Were all knees this ugly? Was I just losing it?

I adjusted the sheer sleeves on my arms, which only reached down to my elbows. The top of my dress hugged around my shoulders, leaving them and my neckline exposed to the comfortable air of the room. I found myself asking whether I should go or not. I didn't want to disappoint Lucius by not showing up, but mentally, I wasn't sure if I was prepared.

He was just downstairs, waiting in the common room. If I decided to hide away in my room, he could easily come up and knock on the door until I had no choice but to answer. Somehow, I didn't think that was within his personality, however.

I brushed my curled, blonde hair behind my shoulders, then pulled them in front again. There was a nice accessory I could add in, and I was able to easily locate it in my jewelry box that I kept on my own, vanity table. I slipped the black, rhinestone hairpin in the back, crimping a small lock of hair just enough to keep it out of my eyes.

Was I missing anything? I already sprayed on my perfume. A little bit of makeup...

Did I need more?

No, I didn't need _more_.

Did I need less?

Damnit, he had already been waiting on me for long enough. There was no need to start all over.

I pulled myself together. Air came in through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Then, I was leaving the dormitory, heading down the stairs. I spotted Lucius standing by the unlit fireplace, his hands tucked behind his back. My lungs felt tight suddenly, and I almost considering bolting back up to my room before he turned around to look at me. I kept walking, however, hoping to keep up my elegance at least until I reached the bottom of the stairs...

And, success.

"I'm ready," I murmured, though I was surprised the clicking of my heels hadn't caused him to turn around sooner. He smiled at me, though I knew his silence indicated he was observing me. I felt like a little mouse being eyed by a snake. So, in turn, I inspected him. He wore a fine suit that was entirely black. The only colored attire he wore was a silky, green tie tucked beneath his long blazer.

Even as I walked towards him, I kept my head high, hands folded in front of me, as they really didn't feel comfortable anywhere else. I always tried to look and behave as much as my mother did, especially since in appearance, I did look so much like Druella Black. Right now, a first impression was everything, and I would have no other chance to redeem myself if I ended up looking silly.

"You look ravishing, Miss Black," he said. That was a word I hadn't expected to hear. _Beautiful_ , perhaps, but was _ravishing_ an appropriate term to describe a young lady who hadn't even reached the age of sixteen yet?

"Thank you, Lucius," I said, forcing confidence. "You look quite charming, yourself."

And that, he did. He always was a very nice sight, but a different light shone on him tonight that I hadn't seen before. He offered his arm to me, and I took it with little reluctance. Hopefully, it would be a perfect night. After the events from a couple of weeks ago, I needed to feel like a princess for a change.

We were heading down the corridor that would lead to the designated room when my heart began to quicken its pace. I sighed out softly, though it seemed my anxiety did not go unnoticed.

"Nervous?" I heard Lucius ask me. Again, he was flashing that signature, Malfoy grin I had come to recognize was only one-of-a-kind.

"Just a bit." Now, I could hear faint, instrumental music playing behind the door we were closing in on.

"Don't you worry," he said, and his hand took mine, pulling it in a direction that would lead my entire body into a twirl. "You are in good hands."

I giggled a bit, and once he had finished spinning me, we made our way inside. I didn't recall ever being in this room before, but it was large enough to comfortably fit the number of people inside. A couple dozen or so, I imagined. On the far side of the room, I saw Professor Slughorn engaged in a conversation with another student in a dark, green dress. Had it not been for her incredibly long, straight hair, I would have never recognized that it was Sascha. I made myself a mental reminder to pull her aside at some point and thank her for lending me that potion.

"Mr. Malfoy! So glad you could make it!" chimed the professor. "Oh, and I see you brought Miss Narcissa Black with you, too. Splendid." He gave Lucius a pat on the back, then in turn, gave me a bright smile. "So nice to see you, Miss Black. You look very nice."

"I'm happy to be here, professor," I answered softly.

"Please, help yourself to pastries over on the table! Mr. Lottsworth is also serving pumpkin juice and fruit punch."

"Thank you, Professor Slughorn," Lucius said, and he led me away so that the Potions Master could communicate with some of the other students. Some of them I recognized to be alumni, though I had never acquainted myself with any of them before they graduated.

I cast a glance over to the waiter that Slughorn had mentioned, and for a moment, I was appalled by the pinstripe, flare pants and the brightly-colored shirt he wore. I had to confess, the disco fashion in the muggle world was absolutely repulsive, but I wasn't about to say anything here. In any other situation, I might have, but right now, I did want to make a good impression in front of everyone here and _not_ look like a total snob.

Plucking a small glass of fruit punch from the tray Harold Lottsworth was carrying around, I remained arm-locked with Lucius as we migrated to the table of finger foods.

"How many of these parties are there?" I asked him.

"Well, there are a few, casual dinners throughout the year, but this is the first I've seen that is this elaborate. My father once mentioned he was a part of a couple of dance parties."

"Your father was in the Slug Club, too?"

"Of course," Lucius said, smiling again. "Why do you think I got in?"

After a period of time, we did manage to go our separate ways long enough to mingle. I even chose to grace Emma Vanity with my presence for a few moments. She wore a lovely, turquoise dress, and I couldn't help but ask her where she had gotten it. Perhaps for my next birthday, I would have to ask for it. Turquoise was a much prettier color on me than this slutty red I was stuck in.

Eventually, I located Sascha in order to swallow my pride and thank her. She was happy to do it, she insisted, though before I could ask her why, I felt fingers lightly grip around my wrist. I turned my head, my blonde curls bouncing against my neck as I saw Lucius looking at me.

"Would you like to dance?"

I felt a lump in my throat. I had never exactly learned how to properly dance. One would expect a proper Black to know how to, but sadly, me nor my sisters had ever been taught. He took my lack of a response as an acceptance, as he was already pulling me out to an empty spot on the floor. There were a few other couples that were already dancing to a new song, but my confidence had faltered in a matter of seconds.

"I...I'm not very good at dancing," I whispered to him, and he simply chuckled against the side of my head.

"I already told you, Narcissa, you're in good hands."

Despite my anxiety, we managed just fine. He instructed me to follow his lead, and so, I did just that - nothing more, nothing less. It didn't seem so bad once we got started, and after what seemed like an entire night, we were heading back towards the common room, each of us nibbling on a pastry we had taken to-go.

"Slughorn said he wanted me to be a part of the club next year," I announced to him as we approached the wall that would take us in.

"I knew he would," Lucius answered with a smug look, and as he addressed the blank wall with the password, it opened up to let them inside. "You deserve to be in it. He told me you got an Outstanding in the exam."

"I did," I answered, grinning from ear to ear. Then, I recalled that Lucius would be graduating from Hogwarts tomorrow. I probably wouldn't see much of him anymore. "But you won't be there..." Just like that, my smile faded. The little bit of happiness I managed to find was going to be taken away from me. All I would have to look forward to next year would be Andromeda's presence.

Then, he brought my hands to his lips, brushing a kiss along the knuckles of my index fingers. "This isn't goodbye, Narcissa."

* * *

I felt blissful as I boarded the Hogwarts Express the next day, though there was no sign of Lucius. I was starting to think he might have planted false hopes in my head, but ultimately, last night had still been the best evening I had in a long time. I told myself that no matter what, I should be happy that I got to be a part of something, and next year, I would be a part of the Slug Club, too. I caught up on sleep on the way back home, and it wasn't until I returned to the train station that I realized one of my two sisters had not gotten off the train. Andromeda was ahead of me, having already met up with mother and father, but Bellatrix seemed to be nowhere in sight. I gave Andromeda a questioning look, but her expression was hard to read. Maybe she didn't know where she was, either.

Mother and father didn't seem overly concerned about their oldest daughter's whereabouts, and so it wasn't until we returned to our spacious home that I made the inquiry.

"Is Bellatrix here?" I asked my mother.

"No, my dear," Druella replied, setting her handbag on the hook by the front door. There was the smell of food already filling the house, and I supposed that Mooky was already at work in the kitchen, preparing lunch. "Bellatrix won't be joining us, I'm afraid. She is with Rodolphus."

"Oh," I said hazily. I never did find any closure with my sister before she officially left to join the Death Eaters. She said she planned to get the mark as soon as she graduated, but I hadn't realized how literal that was meant to be taken.

"Come, you two," my mother added as she made her way into the dining room, "there is beef on the table."

Mother always looked so elegant. Even now, the way she held herself high and sported her maroon dress made her look like a queen. I hoped I would be able to make her proud one day in hosting the same behaviors. It didn't seem so important before - not until last night, when I was so keen on being perfect in everything I did. Whether I did a good job at it or not, I didn't know, but no one complained, so I must have done _something_ right.

Mooky brought a fresh glass of water to everyone at the table, though Bellatrix's assigned seat being unoccupied made things feel wrong. I stole a glance at mother, then my father. They were awfully quiet, though the fact that they hadn't addressed the elephant in the room was enough for me to assume that they already knew why she wasn't there.

Personally, I could never imagine myself being a mother and allowing my child to become a Death Eater.


	5. Burn To A Cinder

_I realized as I started writing this chapter that some of my graduation dates got screwed up. However, rather than rewriting what I've already published, I'm going to stick with it. I'm sorry if this bothers some readers, and I hope this still remains enjoyable. To those following and reviewing, thank you for your support! Things are getting very interesting!_

* * *

Not a whole lot could be said about the next, twelve months that passed me by. It was a little more dull without as many, familiar faces. Slug Club was my only, real escape, but even still, I kept to my studies. Slughorn frequently praised a new student at almost all of the six get-togethers we had. It annoyed the hell out of me, as it didn't take long for me to find out this first-year that had become a gem in the professor's eye, despite being a Slytherin, was also a half-blood. His name was Severus Snape, a quiet kid with long, black hair and a quick knack for potions. I didn't see him very often, but he did sit across from me on the night of the Sorting Ceremony. He never had much to say, but come the end of the year, he seemed to know particular things in potion-making I had never heard of in my six years at Hogwarts. I hated the feeling of the limelight being taken off of me little by little, and by the end of the year, I was simply a shadow cast in the back of Professor Slughorn's mind as he boasted about his youngest, potions genius.

Andromeda had become much more of a social butterfly, and she even seemed to become best pals with Emma Vanity and Ellouise Greengrass. I despised those two as it was; now, they were stealing the only sister I had left. The longest conversation I had with her was when she brought me the news that she was being arranged to marry Walden Macnair, a pure-blood that had graduated this past year. She didn't seem very fond of the man, but then again, why did it matter? We all had a duty to uphold, and as long as we kept the line of Black pure in blood, we ought to be happy.

All year, I never saw or heard from Bellatrix, and from what I gathered from Andromeda, nor had she. The only trace of her was a letter from mother, who had informed me that she was now officially Bellatrix Lestrange. My sisters were moving on, slowly casting me to the side.

I did receive two letters from Lucius throughout the year, which temporarily perked me up. Within the first week, he had sent me a parcel that was a belated, birthday present - a white-gold necklace with the pendant of a blue, diamond cat. I knew instantly it was supposed to resemble Alice, and so I had been incredibly ecstatic to display around my neck for the entire year. He also included a letter that informed me that he had been very busy taking up a position in the Ministry of Magic, following in his father's footsteps as an influential individual.

The second letter informed me of a swift promotion he had received, though as he was independently wealthy, I understood he wasn't looking for raises. He was looking for connections in high places, to make a name for himself and to become a powerful force within the Ministry.

I wouldn't have admitted it out loud, but I was still stuck on the young man. He was out there, rising up in the world, and I was still a mere student, wasting away my talents behind these stone walls on tests and silly spells.

I was an outcast. A black sheep.

Towards the holidays, I watched as Andromeda began to keep company with students outside of Slytherin, and deep inside, it bothered me. I didn't say anything, as such was hard without Bellatrix to back me up, but it made my blood boil, nonetheless.

I realized too that I should have probably made more friends, myself.

Towards the end of the last term, I made myself a promise. Next year, I would go out with a bang.

* * *

The last term was almost over. I felt pretty confident that I had made good closure with all of my classes, though we wouldn't receive our grades until tomorrow. Alice had wondered off again, which wasn't uncommon, though usually, she was back before dinner time. I had asked around the common room if anyone had seen her.

"The white cat, right?" Severus asked, slumped in the armchair with a giant book on dark magic in his arms. In my panic, I had no time to ask if he had gotten that from the Restricted Section or not. "Last I saw her, she was in the courtyard."

"Thanks," I breathed, already heading out of the dungeon before he even finished his sentence. One convenience of being housed in the dungeons was being located closer to the entrance of the castle, and right now, that was a benefit for me when trying to find my lost feline. I dashed through the entrance hall only to be slowed by a nagging voice behind me.

"Miss Black, is there a reason why you're running through the halls?"

"No," I heaved, "I mean... Sorry, Professor McGonagall. I seem to have lost my cat. I was told she might be just outside."

She gave me a scrutinizing look over her glasses before offering a curt nod. "Be quick. Curfew is in an hour."

"Thank you, professor." I resumed my speedy trek for the doors, moving in a jog towards the courtyard. A girl's laughter filled the air as I closed in on the cloister, though I stayed out of sight once I realized who the giggles belonged to. It was Andromeda, and she was perched on a stone bench next to another student I quickly recognized as Edward Tonks. The way the Gryffindor tickled her was awfully affectionate, and it made me want to vomit.

Then, he kissed her. It seemed to take Andromeda by surprise just as much as it did me. A mudblood was kissing my sister! It was... _revolting_! I wanted to tear the two of them apart right then and there, but I stayed hidden, once again insecure about the fact that Bellatrix was not here to support my stance. My fists clenched at my sides, and I instantly forgot why I had originally come here for. I returned to the common room in a storm of rage, and I said nothing even when Snape had asked if I found Alice. Up the stairs to the dormitory I went, and I was all the more aggravated to find that the cat had found her way into my room while I had been hunting for her.

Pissed as hell, I sat at the foot of the bed, not even acknowledging her. Even as she lovingly knocked the top of her head into my arm, at first, I couldn't bring myself to break down and show compassion. It took some of her persistence to finally make me give in. It was as if she was trying to tell me something. I liked to think it was something like:

 _Time heals all wounds._

* * *

August 1, 1972. It was the day before my birthday. I could tell I was being spoiled a little early when I woke up to the smell of fresh-baked cake from downstairs. The moment my eyes opened, I was wide awake. I got myself dressed into a long, summer dress of white chiffon. I was bolting down the stairs before mother could even stop me, but I could hear her calling after me as I passed through the foyer.

"Narcissa, you know better than that! There isn't even icing on that cake yet!"

However, her voice was quickly drowned out as I nearly slammed into a dark figure that blocked the kitchen door. My bare feet skidded to a halt, and for a moment, it took me time to recognize the woman that stood in front of me. She wore a long dress made entirely of black and lace, a small slit up the side of her skirt that revealed her calf. Her hair was straight and dark, though much longer than I recalled.

"Bellatrix," I stuttered, though afterwards supposed she probably warranted a better greeting than that.

"Good to see you too, Cissy," she said flatly. I remembered she was a married woman now, and curiously looked to her left hand to see the ornate, green rock that adorned it. Her arms were crossed, so getting a good view was difficult, but I could see she had grown out her nails and painted them black.

"Congratulations on your marriage," I told her, though my voice might have contradicted me. Last we saw each other, things had been pretty frightening for me, and I could tell she hadn't forgotten.

"You were in school when the wedding was scheduled," she said. "Unfortunately, we couldn't book it at any time during the summer."

"It's fine," I answered awkwardly. Even if I had been invited, I wasn't so sure I would have wanted to go. Bellatrix's actions had caused a strain between us, and it was hard to not let that show in front of the rest of the family. After all, what I witnessed still remained a secret.

"I heard Andromeda is moving out. Is she with Macnair?"

At this, I tensed. I had dreaded ever having this conversation with Bellatrix since I discovered who Andromeda's heart truly belonged to. After witnessing my oldest sister's relentlessness when it came to her hatred for muggle-borns and those who loved them, I came to realize that I could not bring myself to tell her the truth about Andromeda's true love. At this rate, I wouldn't put it past Bellatrix to kill her own sister.

"Bellatrix, dear, why don't you go ahead and give her your present?" Druella suggested as she passed through the room, though she hadn't stayed long, already heading into the kitchen to check on the cake that Mooky was preparing.

In reply, my sister put on a half-smile, and I watched as she meandered over to the polished, accent table by the front door. From it, she picked up a package wrapped in metallic, silver paper. It was topped with a green bow and labeled "To Cissy, From Bella".

I unwrapped it there in front of her, and the content inside took me by surprise. I knew what it was immediately when I pulled the top lid off. I brushed my fingers over the turquoise chiffon before I pulled the dress out completely, bringing it up to my chest. It was the exact same that Emma Vanity wore to the Slug Club's last event, though I had forgotten to ask mother about it.

"But how did you know?" I asked Bellatrix in amazement.

"Easy," she said with a small grin. "Lucius told me."

"Lucius?" I repeated, though I instantly felt dumb. He must have overheard the conversation and knew I wanted it. "You've talked to him?"

"Of course," Bellatrix said matter-of-factly. "We see each other regularly. He's a Death Eater, after all."

At this, my heart stopped, feeling as though it had been impaled. I probably should have known Lucius would take that path, being a pure-blooded Slytherin and proud of it, but he had never once mentioned in his letters that his plan was to join the Dark Lord's ranks. I clenched my grip on the fabric of my present, though soon loosened it when I realized my anger might have been a bit too obvious.

"What? He didn't tell you?" Bellatrix almost sounded as if she mocking me. She was much more sinister now than I remembered, and I knew it was being a Death Eater that had transformed her. "That's alright. You can trust me to tell you everything you need to know. Just like I can trust you to keep our little secret, right?"

I wanted to punch her square in her pretty face. She could probably tell, as she only giggled at the frustrated expression on my own face.

"It's been nice catching up, Cissy. We should do it again sometime."

Then, just like that, she was headed out the door. I looked down at the dress, still as a wand without a master. All sorts of waves of emotions filled me, though none seemed to overpower the others. I felt confusion. Hate. Rage. Guilt. Hurt.

Then, suddenly, I almost wanted to laugh. Bellatrix wasn't a part of my family anymore. She was off to start her own, new life. Without her (and soon, without Andromeda), I would be main lady of the Black household. I could be beautiful and witty like mother. I could be snarky and seductive like Bellatrix. I could even be popular like Andromeda.

Next year surely would be a different, fairy tale, and I would undoubtedly be queen.


	6. The Arrangement

The next morning, I wasn't nearly as ecstatic about that cake as I had been before. In fact, I had rather taken my time in getting out of bed. However, as I started my shower, I caught onto the smell of breakfast cooking downstairs. Mother and father knew I was awake, and they no doubt had instructed the elf to cook up my favorite for the morning: bacon omelettes and pancakes. There was only a slight bounce to my step as I came out into the hallway in my favorite, blue dress - _not_ the one Bellatrix had gotten for me, which was left in the cedar chest in my bedroom with the rest of the junk I decided I didn't need.

I could hear Andromeda in her room. She was shuffling around behind the closed door just as she had been for these past few days. I knew she was busy packing - far too busy to pay her sister any mind on her sixteenth birthday. Not that it mattered to me. She was still nothing more than a blood traitor in my eyes. I didn't need her attention. Let her grovel at Ted Tonks's feet like a lovesick dog.

I barely made it to the bottom of the stairs when my yellow-haired mother had appeared at the doorway leading into the living room. "There she is," she said with a smile. As always, Druella Black held herself high. She was the perfect image of a proper lady in the Black family. I always hoped she recognized herself in me, and so I did what I could to act like her. Now, I had all the more reason to. I was a young woman, and it was time that I started making a name for myself.

"Your guest has been waiting on you, Narcissa."

"Guest?" My footsteps paused as I reached the last step. Bellatrix had already visited me yesterday, though that was a less than welcoming reunion. Who else could possibly want to come see me?

"Come here," she said, gesturing for me to follow her into the living room. Before I even quite reached the archway that would take me into the spacious lounge, I felt a lump developing in my throat. The familiar set of sunshine-blond hair instantly made my heart quicken a bit. There was no doubt in my mind now who it was that sat on the sofa, looking at this morning's issue of _The Daily Prophet_. "Look who has finally decided to bless us with her presence," mother introduced as she led me into the room.

"Ah, there she is," said the tall man that was just opening up the earthen shades to let the sun shine into the room. My father was not frequently found smiling, but I could consider it a present just to see him do so now as he turned his mustached grin to me.

"Good morning," I murmured, though I wasn't certain as to how to approach Lucius, who was just setting down the paper and standing up from the sofa. After what I had discovered yesterday, I didn't know whether to hate him or just be afraid of him. Of course, I didn't want to be rude. "It's good to see you, Lucius," I said to him. It wasn't until after I addressed him that I saw another pair standing off to the side of the room. There was a man with short, grayish hair. He had facial hair along his mouth and the sides of his face, though there was no denying that this was Lucius's father. He wore fine, dark robes, and he held a cane with the handle of a snake's head. The woman in the green gown beside him was almost the splitting image of my own mother; had I not done a double-take, I might have made the mistake of identifying her incorrectly. This had to be his wife.

"Narcissa, this is Abraxas and Avelina Malfoy," my father said. "They've come from Wiltshire so we could all share some very important news."

Just when the beating of my heart seemed to have steadied, it picked back up like a war drum again. I had seen this twice before with my sisters. I had been present when the Lestranges came to visit. It had been established among Rodolphus's parents and mine that he and Bellatrix would be wedded. The ring came shortly afterwards - within a matter of days. With Andromeda, it was a similar scenario with the Macnairs. However, the moment that Andromeda returned to Hogwarts, she had taken the ring off. I saw the way it bothered her, being betrothed to a man she didn't love...but it was necessary to the family.

Now, it was my turn, and while a few days ago, when I had been naive enough to not know Lucius was a Death Eater, I might have been perfectly fine with this arrangement. Right now, I was still feeling pretty raw about it. I didn't _hate_ the man - not that I felt that I hated Bellatrix - but nor was I exactly pleased with how he had kept this from me.

"It's good to meet you." I think I may have stumbled on my words a little, but it didn't seem like any of them had noticed. I didn't care if they had or hadn't - we Black daughters were prone to being dragged into forced marriages. I know I wasn't the first one to show displeasure about it, so there was no point in trying to get them to change their minds. Arranged marriages had been a practice of my family for many, many decades.

We all had morning tea together; I sat with Lucius while my mother and father sat across from us. Abraxas and Avelina Malfoy sat separately in arm chairs. All Lucius's father seemed capable of talking about was himself - though he did sometimes praise his son for how exceptional he was at working within the Ministry of Magic. I was relatively uninterested, and I had a notion that my parents were simply pretending to be. After all, they would be family - we were going to have to tolerate them. Avelina had nothing to say; she even appeared annoyed with the topic her husband initiated. At times, when Abraxas's cockiness shone through, I swore I saw her roll her eyes. It became apparent to me that these two didn't marry because of love, either. It all had everything to do with money.

Father eventually buttered in about his own job in management of St. Mungo's Hospital. Not that he was particularly braggadocios, but I assumed that more than anything, he was tired of hearing Abraxas talk. No one addressed the uneasiness, but Avelina looked ready to steer from it when she turned to my mother. "Druella, dear, would you mind showing me the garden? It looks quite lovely from afar-"

"Of course, Avelina." Both blonde women seemed eager to make their escape from their husbands' bantering. I watched as the other woman stopped in her tracks, having nearly trampled over the cat that hurried into the room. She held a look of distaste towards the feline, and at first, I was bothered by the sour expression. I could never get along with someone that didn't like cats.

Soon, Alice was looking up at me from the ground, licking her chops with bright, green eyes. She clearly wanted up on my lap, and so I was happy to direct my attention to her. Patting my skirt, I invited her to hop up, and she did so gleefully. During this distraction, both Cygnus and Mr. Malfoy were now excusing themselves from the room. I could only assume that my father was leading him off to another room in the house, perhaps for an opportunity to talk about himself for a change.

Now, it left only me and Lucius sitting on the couch, along with Alice purring in my lap.

Somehow, I anticipated it would come down to this. I didn't require a crystal ball to see this coming. Yet, I hadn't planned on how to talk to him now that I knew what he had been keeping from me. How long would it be before he confessed? Would he ever? Did he know that I knew?

"I see you're wearing the necklace I gave you," he said. The statement threw off my guard a bit. I wouldn't say I felt bad that I was ready to bite his head off when he had given such a nice gesture, but I was at least a little more reluctant. I rarely took off the cat pendant; like who it represented, it was close to my heart (though in this case, quite literally).

"It's nice," I answered, caressing the chain briefly. "Thank you." The spark that was inside of me had dissipated. I still wanted to open up - to tell him what I had learned, and this was probably the best time to do it, while our parents were absent. The only one listening in would have been Alice, and she certainly didn't care about my rantings. She just wanted a nap.

"Bellatrix told me you're a Death Eater," I said. It took a little effort to keep my voice even, but stroking the sleepy animal's head seemed to help. Lucius's response didn't come right away, but it was equally as calm when it finally did.

"I thought she might. Your sister isn't very good with secrets."

"Was that it, then?" I asked, raising my eyes slightly. "You were going to keep it from me?" I realized then that the volume of my voice had raised a bit, though not yet significantly. If this was going to be my future husband, I needed to control my anger.

"I was going to tell you myself. Today," he said matter-of-factly. "I didn't want to tell you through a letter. That would have been ridiculous."

Silence followed. Perhaps he was right to wait to tell me. I understood his reasoning, but I still felt betrayed. That seemed to have been happening a lot lately. One wave of deceit after enough - first Bellatrix, then Andromeda... My sisters had abandoned me to better themselves. Was this what growing up was supposed to look like?

"I'm sorry, Narcissa. I should have told you sooner."

I thought perhaps I heard the sound of my heart breaking off. I shook my head. The fire in me had completely diminished, as if by silent tears. "You do what you need to," I said, my hand falling from Alice's head and onto my lap. "I'll just do my part and be a supportive wife, right?" In the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him smile a little. The expression was contagious. Lucius had a way with making me feel like a lady.

"That's all anyone can ask for."

I looked at him directly, pivoting my head slightly. "Is this what you want?" I noticed him pause, and perhaps his response might have been very similar to what I felt.

"I want us to have more time together, to really get to know each other before the ceremony," he said. "I can at least say this isn't what I _don't_ want."

"Fair enough," I replied. Lucius being a Death Eater didn't stop him from being my friend. It didn't destroy the night we shared at the Slug Club party. It didn't burn the letters he sent me afterwards while I attended school.

"Father says he will be hosting a dinner party at the Malfoy Manor to celebrate our engagement. They haven't arranged a date for it yet, but it will likely be sometime in July."

I was no stranger to dinner parties, though being the center of one did make me feel a little nervous. At the same time, it was a bit exciting. I was already reeling through my collection of best dresses in my head, trying to determine which one would flatter me best. However, Alice's stirring had distracted me before she jumped to the ground altogether. "I'm sure it will be nice," I answered, picking off a couple of stray, white hairs from my skirt. At least I knew which dress I _wasn't_ going to wear.

"May I call on you, perhaps this weekend?" Lucius then asked. I wanted to giggle a bit, feeling like a governor's daughter with the way he addressed me. Still, I looked forward to getting to know more of Lucius's better side. Perhaps there was still a chance I could overlook the darkness in him.

"You may."


	7. While You Were Away

The original plans I had for my last year at Hogwarts had been thwarted by my fiance - but perhaps that was alright. While I couldn't exactly say I loved the man, I did care for him to a certain degree, and I was, of course, a lady. No matter what the circumstances, a lady was always loyal to her family. I returned to the school with full confidence in myself. It showed when I walked down the corridors. Boys - perhaps even some girls - stared at me. Maybe they wondered what had happened to me over the summer, or perhaps they just liked what they saw.

I preferred to think the latter, but ultimately, I kept them all at a distance, except those I considered strictly my friends.

I was the only Black sister in the castle now, and it felt good to have the limelight. I returned to Slug Club, and even if I took a fellow, masculine Slytherin as a date to a party, I was more than happy to flaunt my engagement ring. Perhaps I liked teasing them (the disappointment on their faces was always amusing), but never was I disloyal to my soon-to-be husband.

We wrote each other frequently, as a matter of fact. There was no talk about Death Eaters or the Dark Lord. That was reserved for when we met face-to-face. The displeasure of the subject I held had numbed a bit since we first discussed it. I understood that what was done was done, and even if Lucius wanted to leave, the Dark Lord would not simply allow him. We both simply had to play the cards we were dealt now.

He'd come to the school on one occasion, though his reasons for seeing Headmaster Dumbledore weren't entirely clear. Of course, all I knew was that it pertained to business with the Ministry - political matters that I had no interest or knowledge in. He at least made some time for me during his visit, and we walked alongside the lake during dinner. I was fine going to bed hungry. I got to rendezvous with him for about half an hour, and it was perfect, even if it meant I had to miss out on the evening feast.

I had teased him for the fact that his hair was getting longer, and that if he kept it up, no one would be able to tell us apart, because of how pretty we were.

"Is that so?" he grinned, but before I could give him an answer, he had scooped me up into his arms. "Are you calling me pretty?" I giggled uncontrollably, even screamed a little, as he playfully swung me towards the lake, though he never let me go. It wasn't very often I got to see his sense of humor, but when I did, I felt nothing but happiness. I felt so alive.

My preparations for the N.E.W.T.s were hard work, and the year itself seemed as long as the other six put together, but eventually, it was all over. The day after I graduated, there may have been some tears, but this was the start of a new beginning for me. At the train station, my mother and father were there, and we returned to a quiet home. The absence of my siblings was a bit eerie, but at the same time, relaxation came easier for me. Even still, it was my turn to start packing my bags, though my parents were in no hurry to rush me out. In fact, I could tell mother was reluctant to let me go. I always felt she loved me most of all, because I so closely resembled her, but there was no real proof of this. I was happy with the illusion.

After about a week of steady packing, Lucius had come to steal me away. We were to marry at the beginning of September, just a month after I had turned eighteen. We had discussed through numerous conversations where our honeymoon would be, and we ultimately decided on Venice. I, for one, had never been to Italy before. Aside from Hogwarts, I hadn't even traveled so far from home before. Mother shared with me some memories from her honeymoon, Apparently, father had taken her to Paris when she was pregnant with Bellatrix. "Before then," she told me, "love wasn't a concept, but when we cruised the Seine River and had dinner right there on the water, I fell in love with your father then."

Deep inside, I knew she hoped Lucius and I wouldn't be just an arrangement.

Nonetheless, the honeymoon was incredibly exciting to look forward to. I even wanted the ceremony to be over and done with as soon as possible just so I could see the city that floated on water.

Father had bought me the gown, which I took almost a week to decide on, and another two weeks to get fitted. On top of that, he took care of all of the finances for the wedding and reception. My mother always said that every bride needed to look like a princess, but I felt like a goddess walking down that aisle. I liked standing out as it was; this time, knowing that I truly was the center of attention was like feeding a cat an excessive amount of canned tuna. I was spoiled, but it sure as hell couldn't have been good for me.

Abraxas Malfoy took care of the rest of the expenses, like getting the permission for us to Apparate wherever we needed during our honeymoon. We stayed at the Hotel Cipriani, the most luxurious and expensive one that we could find. It would be our only honeymoon, so we figured, why not go all the way?

We saw everything there was to see in ten days.

On the first day, we visited the haunting ruins of Pompeii and the catacombs. I vaguely knew of the history behind Pompeii and its destruction, but it was a whole different feeling, actually being there, seeing the abandoned homes that had been wiped out from the eruption. The human casts that remained were especially creepy to look at, and it had been one of the quieter tours we took during our trip.

For the next, two days, we did a tour of the Vatican and the Colosseum. We had our share of cathedral ceilings, beautiful art, as well as dilapidated stone.

There was also a food and wine festival within Venice, which we had immense fun in being a part of. I had never eaten so much in a day. We rode the gondolas anywhere that was within short distance, though there was enough walking for us to exhaust our bodies. Still, at the end of every day, we laughed and kissed, and the sex was incredible when we weren't completely spent.

After all, Venice wasn't sometimes called The City of Love for nothing.

I never wanted to go back to Wiltshire. As far as I was concerned, I was in Paradise. However, good things couldn't last forever. When we returned to Malfoy Manor, we were thankfully surprised to have the mansion to ourselves, save for the two, house elves that served the family.

"Master Malfoy" murmured one of them, his saggy, bulbous eyes not quite able to look up at him. Fear was plain as day, but there was something else, too. Something I wouldn't take long to discover. "I have terrible news."

Lucius initially held a look of annoyance towards the elf, but slight concern soon took his face. "What is it?"

"Your mother, sir," the house elf replied in a cracking voice, as if he dreaded punishment for being the messenger. "She died two nights ago."


	8. Sacrifice

A deafening silence filled the giant foyer. I hadn't anticipated this sort of news; while I hadn't known Mrs. Malfoy for very long, and though I had not gotten as acquainted with her as my own mother did (the two of them always seemed like sisters when they were socializing), I felt a sinking feeling within my gut. I felt a great remorse that I hadn't made a better effort to get to know her better; at least if I had, I might have shown more emotion when the house elf smacked us with this tragedy.

Meanwhile, Lucius's expression was hard to read. He looked like a blank canvas, and it scared me. I looked at the creature, my voice shaking a bit as I felt inclined to break the silence. "What happened?"

"She was k-killed, mistress."

Now, I had good reason to be terrified. Who would have deliberately murdered Lucius's mother? Someone, perhaps, that was aware of her husband or son with a standing as a Death Eater? What more, why hadn't anyone sent us a letter? I was sure we would have made plans to return as soon as possible, if we had just known... My fear replaced itself with guilt. While Abraxas mourned the death of his wife, we were too busy gallivanting in Venice.

"Where is my father?"

Lucius's words finally shot like a firecracker in the air. I was almost startled by the sternness in his voice, and I didn't fail to notice how it struck fear into the house elf he addressed.

"He's in the living r-room, s-sir."

My husband walked heavily toward the door that would lead into the next room. Just as the creature had said, Abraxas Malfoy sat in a black, leather chair, perched near a roaring fireplace. He seemed to stare at the flames, a teardrop goblet in his hand that appeared emptied, though the remnants of red wine could faintly be seen at its bottom. By the look on his face, Mr. Malfoy was very tired, and perhaps a tad drunk.

Once again, the lack of conversation brought a rise to my anxiety. All I could hear was the crackling of the flames in the stony hearth. My father-in-law usually intimidated me, so conjuring words, especially now, wasn't easy. Thankfully, Lucius managed to speak up first. "Tell me everything." Still, his words seemed absent of emotion.

At first, Abraxas didn't answer. His eyes didn't even shift away from the fireplace. I had initially thought he was in a trauma-induced paralysis, or somehow slept with his eyes wide open, but soon, his finger tapped the glass in his hand, and I knew he had heard the inquiry.

"Avelina and I were having dinner at Eilam's," he began, the orange glow dancing across the left side of his face. At any other time, a splendid, seafood meal at Eilam's and a romantic walk on the Clevedon Pier by the romantic restaurant would have sounded wonderful, but my appetite was long gone. "It had been a long time since your mother and I really got any time to ourselves, so, I couldn't imagine a better place to take her for the evening..." His words faded, and the grip on his glass seemed to tighten a little bit. "Soory," he growled at the house elf, "bring me another."

The creature that followed us into the living room left without a word. I hadn't even known his name until now. Why had I never bothered to ask? Perhaps I never cared enough to. At least Kreacher had some personality; this one never even thought for itself.

"The Aurors came for me," Abraxas said lowly, his voice remarkably even. "One stopped us at the pier. Couldn't tell you his name. Had a patch over his eye. He offered me a chance to come quietly, but of course, I retaliated. From there, it escalated. Avelina... your mother... she stepped in when he fired at me..."

"I'm so sorry," I murmured quietly to the both of them. However, my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. I could tell that Lucius was more angry than he was upset.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" he demanded, the volume of his voice above all other sounds in the room. "We would have come straight home!"

"Why should I ruin your honeymoon?" Abraxas spoke in defeat, though as Soory brought over the glass of wine, he took it. "Besides, what difference would it have made whether you came yesterday or today?" As an offering, he held it up toward his son, who didn't seem too keen on accepting it.

"I want that auror's name. I want him dead."

"Before more Aurors came to back him up, I took his leg. That will do, for now." Abraxas avoided pushing the subject further, and for a few moments longer, stillness reigned. "The Dark Lord wants to meet tomorrow night. He wants all three of us there."

"Three?" my spouse repeated, but my heart was already racing. Senior Malfoy's eyes settled on me, and all I wanted to do was run out of the room. Yet, my feet were anchored to the wooden panels. "Narcissa has nothing to do with this," Lucius sneered.

"She is in a family of Death Eaters. She is your wife. My daughter-in-law. Bellatrix Lestrange's sister. The Dark Lord has orders; I'm afraid we must see them through."

"What does he want with her?" Lucius demanded.

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that, my son." Abraxas had been about to down the glass of wine before I grabbed it from him, feeling the need to numb myself for a change. As if I hadn't consumed my share of wine on my honeymoon, I downed it quickly, though the bitter taste left a wince on my face and a tingle on my tongue. At least my father-in-law didn't seem to mind. "I'm sorry to dampen the mood for you both. I had hoped for nothing but bliss for the newlyweds."

Sleep did not come for the rest of the night. Beside me, Lucius occasionally stirred into consciousness, but we never uttered a word to each other. No terms of endearment, no encouraging whispers. I was at a loss and didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I found myself more concerned with my own safety now. I never expected I would be dragged into his dirty work. At one point during the early hours of the morning, my eyes cast down to the Dark Mark on his forearm. I hadn't paid a lot of mind to it before. Now, I was beginning to realize the heavy cost of being affiliated with Death Eaters: loss of family, living in fear...

When the sun rose, Lucius would return to the Ministry of Magic, along with his father. I didn't want to be alone in Malfoy Manor. If Avelina was still alive, she and I might have taken a walk in the gardens, perhaps have some mother-daughter bonding time. She might have made all sorts of inquiries about Venice, though I liked to tell myself she would have already visited there, as well as the rest of the world. She might have asked about my favorite parts about our vacation, talk about her own honeymoon with Abraxas. We would have talked about our wedding gowns...

Did she still keep hers?

It was easy to get bored in the manor, especially since I didn't have enough time to feel at home in its walls. I found myself wandering into one of Avelina's rooms, which possessed several vanities and closets full of dresses. I observed each and every one of them, and though I felt a bit ashamed of betraying her privacy, I was already committed. She was a beautiful woman who wore beautiful clothes - far more beautiful than anything I ever possessed. Even my own mother didn't quite meet those standards.

One particular gown caught my interests, and soon, I was prancing in front of the full-length mirror in green satin and lace. It wasn't far off from being a perfect fit on me, as Avelina had been a lithe woman, though one size down would have allowed it to hug better at my hips as it was styled to do. Still, it looked good, and I wondered if maybe a little tweaking might give it that perfect, fitted look I wanted.

Yet, I knew nothing about sewing.

"Mistress, this room is off-limits."

Soory's voice spoke up from the door, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Quickly, my eyes narrowed. "I don't answer to you," I sneered. "You answer to me."

Instantly, the house elf looked terrified, and I knew he had been trying to test what he could get away with. As it turned out, absolutely nothing.

"I'm sorry, m-mistress... You l-look...l-lovely in that dress. Er... there's a visitor d-downstairs."

The last thing I wanted was to handle visitors that had come to mourn with my husband or his father. I was tempted to simply tell the house elf to dismiss them, but supposed it was best to at least see what they wanted. I headed down the stairs after I slipped back into my black heels, holding the long skirt above my ankles so I wouldn't tumble down the stairs. As I opened up the door, I was momentarily surprised to see my mother standing on the other side, dressed entirely in black.

"Narcissa, my dear..." The look on her face was of complete distress, and I could imagine why. She had done a better job of bonding with Avelina than I had. They had become close friends ever since Lucius and I were arranged to be married. Still, she seemed even more concerned with my own well-being. "You haven't been sleeping well either, have you?" she sighed, her arms opening to let me in. I welcomed her embrace, and I had to inhale sharply to try to hold back a sob.

"No, mother." My arms squeezed her as hers did me, and for the first time in these fifteen, long hours, I felt at least some sense of security. "Please," I sniffled, "won't you come in?"

She followed me inside, and as I spotted Soory looking meek by the living room archway, I decided to exact my authority. "Bring us some tea."

"Yes, mistress." As he left the room to do so, I led mother into the next room. I opened up the curtains to let some of the morning sunshine in - anything I could do to brighten the mood.

"That dress... I've seen it before," I heard Druella speak from behind me. A pang of guilt struck me in the gut.

"It was hers," I confessed, peering down at the emerald satin before I turned to look at my mother. "I know I shouldn't have, but..."

"I'm sure they won't mind. What harm is it going to do her now, right?" she said, voicing my own thoughts. She gestured for me to come closer, tugging at the loose fabric around my waist. "It's a little big, but perhaps a little work can make it just the right fit. It's better than letting it collect dust, don't you agree?"

I smiled faintly. She really is my mother, and it showed in so many ways.

"Yes, mother, I agree."

Her smile mirrored mine for a moment, then, it fell. She took a seat in a chair, and I sat in the sofa across from her. "I know you two didn't have much time to really get to know each other, but Avelina was such a strong woman. She dealt with such hardships as a wife of a Death Eater." Now, my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I wondered if mother was aware of what was expected of me tonight. "She held her head high and supported her husband, regardless. She was never converted, but... I suppose you could say He respected her for her undying support for her husband and even her son." For a moment, it was silent, and I let this sink in as Soory brought in the tea set on a platter.

"I would like to see you blossom into the same kind of partner for Lucius," she said to me, using her wand to carefully levitate the pot over our two cups. "I most definitely don't want you to take an Unforgivable for him, but... I'm sure you understand what I mean."

I watched the floating teapot for a moment, taking in this sound advice. I understood perfectly. If anything, it would be for my own safety. I could imagine He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named being quite displeased with any spouse of a Death Eater that showed disloyalty. "Yes, mother. I understand." I sipped at my tea, cupping the little mug in both of my hands.

"Lucius isn't always good at showing emotions, but I know he loves his mother," she went on. "And I most certainly know she loved him more than anything, even more than Abraxas, if I may say so." She smiled faintly, pocketing her wand into her robe once the teapot settled back onto the table between us. "She would have done just the same thing and never think twice, if that wizard's wand had been pointed at him instead."

I loved Lucius; I hadn't really noticed it until we shared those perfect days and nights in Venice. However, I couldn't honestly say that I would die to protect him. Avelina was indeed a rare breed to put her husband's life before her own. In a way, I felt disgusted with myself to come to this revelation, but was it really so terrible to want to live?


	9. Crucial Matters

Evening came, and I had already changed back into my own clothes by the time that Lucius and his father returned from the Ministry. The darker the skies got, the more my anxiousness would rise. For a while, it had diminished, or at least during my mother's visit when she and I had socialized for a couple of hours about the honeymoon. It was nice to be able to brag about all the things we got to experience while we were there. She seemed so happy for me, even though a death in the family might have left a small bruise.

Lucius instructed that I wear black, and so for the third time, I changed my attire. I left my visit to Avelina's room unmentioned. The green dress hung where I had found it, and I did what I could to hide any evidence of my being there. We Apparated to a hideout specified only for this night, which turned out to be the home of Corban Yaxley and his wife, Evanessa. In a way, Yaxley looked much like Lucius, though another several years older. Same hair, same eyes... One might have thought they would have been brothers, if they didn't know any better.

Still, attention to trivial details didn't keep me distracted from my discomfort for very long. The three of us sat at a dining room table smaller than what I was accustomed to. It was designed to seat eight individuals, but as it would soon become apparent, we wouldn't need additional chairs. This meeting was a lot more private than I had anticipated. Two more figures came into the room, and to my dismay, I recognized them both. Bellatrix and her husband, Rodolphus, took their seats across from Lucius and myself, and my body ran cold. My sister's smug grin seared itself into my mind even when I glared away from her.

Then, as the last figure came in, I felt I may have been dunked into a basin of ice. I never met The Dark Lord before, but his presence was unmistakable. While his hood was up, I could faintly see the face beneath that looked much like any other man in his early to mid-thirties; of course, The Dark Lord was much older than he appeared, but no one was here to inquire about his youthful appearance and the secret behind it. We were all here because we were summoned. I, however, was scared out of my wits as to why I was asked to be present.

Something told me it was for more than just moral support for my newlywed husband.

Everyone else sat in silence at the table, but he stood at the end of it, looking down upon all of us. I inclined my head slightly, averting my gaze to the stained wood before me. I tried to keep my hands from trembling on my lap by holding them together, but somehow, it did very little to help. My stomach felt weak. My heart raced against my chest. I didn't doubt for a moment that my fear was evident to everyone else in the room.

"My loyal Death Eaters," came the cold, though surprisingly humane voice from the dark wizard. He raised his hands slightly at his sides as a greeting gesture. "I've kept our convention so small tonight so that we can properly mourn the loss of Avelina Malfoy." There was a moment of silence, and in the corner of my eye, I saw Abraxas's head lower, but the grief on his face was still all too clear. "...And to celebrate the coming of a new member to their family."

My body clenched slightly. I hadn't imagined that The Dark Lord would have been aware of Lucius and myself marrying, let alone caring at all. Eyes now turned to me, albeit briefly. I remained silent; my father-in-law had already warned me to say nothing unless I was spoken to.

"Narcissa, how was your honeymoon? I heard you and Lucius took a trip to Venice."

Well, that moment came a lot sooner than I anticipated. Hesitantly, I raised my head to look at the man, and though I was fairly certain he had no interest in our vacation, I replied politely, though I feared my voice might have trembled. "It was most enjoyable, my lord," I said. "That is, until we returned to learn the dismal news."

"Ah, of course. I understand whole-heartedly. Abraxas, your wife's sacrifice was not in vain. As I heard, the Auror that attacked you that night suffered a great deal of loss, as well."

"Yes, my lord," Abraxas replied evenly.

"Alastor Moody will soon lose plenty more than a leg. I can promise you that. However, as we have lost, we must regain. Which is why your daughter-in-law has come here tonight. An opportunity to be a part of our union-"

"I can't..." Lucius started, nearly cutting off the wizard. I swallowed hard, almost finding it difficult to breathe before and even after. My chest tightened. I was here to be recruited. Somehow, I should have known it would come to this.

"Lucius," The Dark Lord said, frowning at my husband, "this is a decision I leave to Narcissa, not you." His cold eyes now turned back to me, and I shivered beneath them. "However, if she declines, we may have to be more... _persuasive_." My fingers gripped at the velvet of my robe. I wasn't an idiot. I knew exactly what he was suggesting.

The Torture Curse.

I glanced at Bellatrix. To my surprise, she hardly seemed bothered by this, much unlike Lucius, whose face appeared absolutely livid. Still, I knew it was hard for any of them to protest their leader when he could easily destroy them in the blink of an eye. He was a powerful wizard, and one not to be questioned.

Now, I questioned. Just how loyal was Lucius to him? How loyal was he to me?

I was loyal to him. Always had been, always would be. After all, that was the part of the vow I had made. To love and support him... but that didn't necessarily mean I had to kill innocent witches and wizards at his side.

...Did it?

I looked down at my trembling hands. I had painted my nails a fresh shade of forest green, and yet from squeezing my fingers so tightly, the polish was already beginning to rub off.

"I..."

I couldn't see myself as a Death Eater. Look what it had done to my once beautiful sister. Bellatrix craved to hurt others - even me, it seemed. I was always afraid of her ever since I had discovered what kind of woman she truly was.

"Cissy! Give him an answer." Bellatrix barked at me from the other side of the table. I know what she wanted me to say.

"No." The word came out quicker than I had intended, but it was too late now. I had to stand my ground.

A couple of people gasped, and yet, You-Know-Who seemed perfectly calm about the entire thing. Through the corner of my eye, I saw my sister glaring at me.

"You're sure this is your decision?" The Dark Lord asked. It seemed he was giving me one more chance to redeem myself. But I declined. I would rather take The Cruciatus Curse than condemn innocents to the same spell, all in the name of blood purity.

"I'm sure," I answered stiffly. I felt Lucius's hand grab my own. I was surprised he didn't try to sway my decision. Even if he had, I don't think I would have changed my mind.

Now, the bone-like wand Voldemort wielded was pointed towards me. The air was tense, and I shut my eyes as I readied myself for a world of pain. I had never been tortured before. How bad was it? Did it hurt on the inside or the outside? Was there going to be a crescendo, or would it be instant agony?

"My Lord," my husband whispered beside me, "let me take the punishment instead."

My eyes shot open, and I panicked. "Lucius, no!"

"Show her mercy, please. I will gladly take the curse for her."

Tears blurred my vision, but I could still see the desperation in his face, as well as the shock in everyone else's. Even Abraxas seemed surprised.

For a moment, there was no response. Their leader seemed to be pondering, but then finally, turned towards Lucius. "Very well."

A crimson bolt flew across the air at Lucius, and I cried out just before it him. I felt the cold tears tumble down my cheeks. Lucius's face instantly changed to a terrible wince, as if he had been stabbed again and again. He staggered out of the chair and into the floor, and I could tell he was fighting the urge to scream in pain as best as he could. I couldn't stand to see him like this. This was what my husband had gotten himself into when he graduated. And to think I would be a part of a sadistic group of torturers and murderers, had I not declined?

I heard Bellatrix snickering nearby, and my blood began to boil. I turned to look at her, and though the bemused sound stopped coming from her, a lingering grin remained on her lips. She was still somehow satisfied. More and more, I found myself hating her. If there was anyone who deserved such a terrible curse, it was her.

Finally, Lucius was relieved from the pain, and the sounds of his gasping tore me in two. I all but collapsed to the ground beside him, pulling him into my arms. "You didn't have to do it..." I whispered to him. I heard Voldemort chuckle from the other side of the table.

"Sentimental," he said, though I could detect the sarcasm. "You love your husband, don't you, Narcissa?"

"Yes...My Lord. I do."

"I believe there is still some good to come out of this." He gave me a smile that could only make me feel colder inside than I already did.

I was excused to return home, though Lucius was expected to stay behind as the meeting would resume. I had hoped to be able to return to the manor with him, to at least ensure he would do so safely. I waited at the window of the foyer, even pulled up a chaise when my feet couldn't hold me up any longer.

I had dozed off at some point, but the clock struck midnight and stirred me into consciousness again. He still hadn't returned home.

Again, I looked through the window. Rain was pouring outside. As if it was instantly known that I had woken up, Soory came through the doorway behind me. "Mistress, can I get you anything?"

"No." I sneered, though instantly wished that had come out differently. This house elf had done nothing to me. He deserved at least a little better than that. "No, thank you..."

However, movement from outside flicked my attention back to the window. It was Lucius. I knew it was. The slight limp in his walk up the path only confirmed it. "Get a fire in the living room. And a towel."

"Yes, mistress!" Soory hurried off, and I was doing just the same towards the front door. Uncaring that I would get drenched from the heavy-pouring rain, I sprinted to Lucius. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I threw his arm over my shoulder and brought him inside. Using my foot to shut the door behind me, I helped him into the next room and laid him on the couch. He grunted, and I assumed he was likely still in pain. Behind me, the fireplace was roaring in a warm light. Soory came up with a towel, which I used to help dry my husband off as best as I could. At least the air outside was still relatively warm.

"Lucius, I'm sorry..." I whispered, resting my forehead against his shoulder. "I should have been the one to suffer, not you..."

He shook his head slightly, and he murmured something that sounded like a retort, but I couldn't really make out any words. My heart ached. Lucius might not have been a very good man, being a Death Eater, but he was the best husband I could ever ask for.


	10. Blood Is Thicker

I was racked with guilt for the next week or so. Sleep was hard to come by, even when Lucius laid beside me. Sometimes, I felt terrible with the reminder of my mother-in-law being taken away so quickly, especially from her son. I felt responsible for every moment I saw him wince from the aftermath of the curse. He solely made that decision, sure, but I had been ready to take the punishment. The furthest thing from my mind was that he would take it for me. In a way, while I may have been relieved, I felt undermined in front of the Death Eaters, particularly my sister. Bellatrix was probably laughing maniacally in a corner about how Cissy had a shield from the Cruciatus Curse, because she couldn't take it herself.

Which, of course, that wasn't true.

One morning, I was surprised to see that Soory had been hauling a number of boxes to the front door from upstairs. He piled them up in the foyer, one by one. Out of curiosity, I couldn't help but peek in one of the cardboard boxes, and I was surprised to see some of Avelina's gowns among them.

"Who told you to throw these out?" I demanded. The house elf panicked for a moment, taking a step back towards the stairwell. "Young Master Malfoy, mistress."

I let out a sigh. Lucius wasn't here to neither deny nor confirm this, but I hated to see those dresses go, and I doubted he'd care what happened to them. They were probably just donations, right? Without saying anything to the servant, I had already started dissecting a couple of the boxes, keeping the gowns for myself. I took the boxes I chose to keep in one of the side rooms upstairs, tucked in a closet. I already had an idea of what to do with some of them.

I found myself needing to keep my hands busy, and so, I went out and purchased myself a sewing machine. I didn't know how to use it very well, I admit, but it took me about a week to get the hang of it. Some of the clothes I used as scrap to practice with, whereas I would save the finer dresses for something I had an idea envisioned for. I certainly had a couple of puncture wounds and cuts from the excessive use of the machine, but perhaps such was good for a woman. While I never minded someone doing work for me as a spoiled child, I much preferred being able to do things for myself.

To a degree, of course. It was nice to have Soory bring me food and drinks when I was tied up upstairs.

At last, all the hard work finally paid off. I had done something I never imagined I could or would before - I designed my own dress and even brought it to life. Lucius hadn't noticed the pile of cloth in the spare closet (that was no surprise, as he was frequently at work, technically torn between two jobs). However, one night, on the week before Halloween, I hadn't fully been paying attention to what I was doing. Maybe I was getting a little too confident in my growing experience, or maybe it was just pure foolishness. Either way, there was a sharp pinch on my finger, just past the joint by my wedding ring. At first, it didn't seem so bad, until I saw how deep the needle had punctured the flesh. It came out just as quickly as it went in, but it was enough for me to bleed all over the fabric I was working with. The pain seemed worse as I tried to tend to it, and yes, I cried.

I didn't even know my husband had come home just in time to hear the scream.

"Cissa!" he shouted from the stairs, and I could hear him hammering up to the second floor. I was in the washroom by then, washing the puncture wound as best as I could with hot water. He hadn't even known of the hobby I took up on, so I couldn't imagine what was going through his head when he saw the clean, tiny stab wound on my finger. I watched as Lucius grabbed for a potion in the cabinet; it was a clear liquid that he poured over the wound, though it gave a sharp sting as it did. I hissed at the pain, and he tutted as he would grab some bandaging to wrap it up.

"You should be more careful," he said, putting my face between his hands.

"I'm sorry, Lucius. I was being clumsy."

He kissed my forehead and pulled me close. I had to admit, it felt quite nice, being close to him. I hadn't felt much love from him since we returned on our honeymoon, though I never stopped to ask why. Between work, Death Eaters, and the loss of his mother, I tried to be patient with him and simply be supportive when I needed to be.

"I didn't know you were going to be home early," I said. "Otherwise I would have had Soory make dinner."

He smiled faintly, holding my shoulders as he pulled back a bit. "I have a much better plan."

Lucius instructed me to get changed into a nice dress, and we would go out for dinner. The suggestion surprised me, though I certainly wasn't about to deny an opportunity to get out of the mansion. I did as asked, finding this the perfect excuse to slip on the dress I had finished a few days ago. As intended, it was a perfect fit - a dark, emerald dress of silk with a touch of black tulle to flare it up some. Lucius's look of awe when I met him at the front door made it all ultimately satisfying.

We decided on a luxurious, French restaurant - one I hadn't known he had actually made reservations for. The food was delicious, and though I was a simple woman with simple tastes, I resorted to trying something new for a change. I decided on a baked crepe with mushrooms, leeks, cheeses, and a sauce - something I wasn't even confident I would like, but I was happy to discover that I did. Lucius learned that night that I spoke terrible French, and he joked me for it.

As we enjoyed dessert, Lucius explained to me his enlightened mood. I knew of an appeal running through the Ministry that fought against the slavery of house-elves, which we were both highly against. Today, it was decided that the Appeal Against House-Elf Slavery was defeated, which was good news for aristocratic families such as our own, and many others that owned slaves.

Suffice it to say, it was one of the few nights we actually spent together like this. Sure, the nights to follow would involve us having dinner at the mansion, but I was quick to realize that these moments would be a rarity, and something I couldn't take for granted.

By the end of November, my mother and father had insisted that I attend the funeral of a distant relative - one far too distant to really label. I never met Charis Black, who died at the age of 54, but by respect of my bloodline, I did what was asked of me.

It didn't exactly surprise me that Bellatrix hadn't attended, and nor had Andromeda. I imagined that Bellatrix chose not to come, though mother may have expected her to. Andromeda, being disowned from the family, probably wasn't even aware of the death in the family.

In a way, I was relieved, glad to not have to partake in anymore sibling drama... at least for a little while.

However, I did hear through gossip from attendees that Andromeda had given birth to a little girl. I made no mention of it, but it had me pondering over when Lucius and I would have our own child. He was so busy with the Ministry, it likely wasn't even a concept.

Instead of worrying about myself, when I returned to Malfoy Manor, I stayed up that night, writing. I think I must have gone through a kilogram of parchment before I finally found the right words to send out to my disowned sister.

 _Dear Andromeda,_

 _I'm sorry for how things had to end so abruptly. I know I once spoke so poorly of your involvement with the man you love, but nonetheless, you will always be my sister, even if our parents do not believe it to be true. I heard through gossip that you've given birth to a baby girl. Congratulations. I'm sure she's beautiful, just like her mother. Take good care of her. The darkness in this world will only get blacker, and I fear the worst. I understand if you don't forgive me for being a better sister to you, but please believe me when I say I'm not her. You know what I mean when I say this._

 _I wish you and your family all of the luck in the world. Be safe._

 _Your ever-loving sister,_

 _Narcissa_


End file.
